For years, I was the fixer. The person that would try to make it all better for anyone and everyone near me. Lifting others up. As you spoke to me, my first thought would be to listen. I’d try that, but as soon as I could get a word in, I would offer my opinion and my “solution”. I was good at it.
People everywhere would tell me their personal problems. They could see that I could “help” them. They knew that I cared and could read that on me. I’d allow them to dump all over me, and I would take it on as my own. Mourn & pray over it, try to shine it up, shift it and give it back to them with a whole new “appearance”. A new perception that they never thought of. So I thought.
What really happened was they received a release by giving it to me. I carried it as my own, until it dissipated. It was heavy.
Growing up was a rollercoaster. Everywhere I looked, I felt heavy emotion. There were happy sensations, but the emotion that stood out the strongest was sadness. I could feel your pain even before you opened your mouth. The underdog always caught my eye.
As I grew up, I realized I was very different from others. I thought maybe I would go crazy someday and be locked up in a padded cell with the key thrown away, as I was warned. “Very sensitive” was my title. School was not easy for a person like me. I wanted everything to be sweet and copacetic, but it was the opposite. Heartache, angst, depression, torment, jealousy, nastiness, lack of acceptance filled the hallways. The energy in school was not easy to deal with as a kid like me. I was too busy trying to fit in and please others. Self-acceptance came much later.
Finally, somewhere along the line, I taught myself how to deflect and maintain. A lot of mindful skills that I learned along the way helped me deal with the gravity of it all. Shifting our perception is a life changer. Living in the now and understanding that once something is over, it’s done. Unless you bring it back to life (over & over), it’s done. Forgiving & releasing is paramount.
Growing up an Empath was complicated. Once I understood the ramifications of taking on other peoples’ issues, and I put up solid boundaries, my life became my own. We all have our own path. You can visit someone on theirs or cheer them on, but do not veer too far from your path. The lessons are in the path, our journey is ours. Just let it be.
Being an Empath is a gift.